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Apr. 19th, 2009

It is time for checking and preparing stuffs.

                               It seems like I am so excited by starting my new job. I have just graduated, I have a job as I want. I worked hard on my studying. I worked in USA, 2007. I worked as an English teacher while I was studying in the University. But that is so wonder that why I am excited by this coming new job. I am going to work as an English teacher again, so that is no reason to get excited.
The girl stuffs to prepare are in these lists

                               1. clothes for wearing to work
                               2. shoes
                               3. stuffs like fernitures for my room
                               4. opening the new account for the saraly
                               5. the make - up stuffs
                               6. the stuffs for doing my hair (creating my hair style)
                               7. this is very important , preparing myself to cove with the coming problems.

They are  so batty, but they are very necessary.
                              That is very redicurious listing those above, but I can't deny doing it. Like every night I write my diary, the same worrying, the same problems, the same thoughts and also me, the same person who write everyday.

My new apartment

                              I am going to start working in a few day. I have to move into my new apartment. That is so weird that I moved three times a month, right now I am satisfied with it. The windows and the door are totally glasses, and I will have no air to breathe in if I won't open the door.That means during I am at home, I have to open the door all the time, right? and the four steps door - locking drives me crazy, the reason for that is it's safe. About the neighboring, many people are going to be my friends. The food shop is in front of my room, I live in the first floor. The guard stands be side my room, aww... that is so crazy, I need privacy.
                              Anyway, my mother chose this room for me, she didn't want me to stay alone in the third floor like I chose. She changed my plan, and she always does so. "That is safer," said she.
                              Yesterday, I was there for decorating my room then I went back home.I hate staying there for four days waiting. I love living alone, but being in the strange places is so irritating for my feeling. I will be there in a few day, so I need to think of it in the good way. That is I am trying to do. 
                             Working, making money, continuing my master degree, staying in the peaceful area are my goals. I need to be patient, needn't I? So I have to stay, but may be I will move again. Ha ha ha...    

Apr. 10th, 2009

What a beautiful day !

                           Last time I met my friends, we went on a trip. Pattaya, the province of tourists' travelling. That was a very fun trip. Pattaya is not my favourite place to go during the night. Beyond the the facts of how it's famous ( negative way ), the places which are very beautiful and very peaceful are there as well. I love it! I love it! I love it! ^_^ 


Apr. 9th, 2009

That is so funny thinking of it.

            Yesterday my cousins brought their lovers to my house, I thought that was sweet. Then we had dinner together. Last night , my sister came with her boyfriend to my house. Guess what? Wow! What a the lovely day! If you ask me to have a lover, I will refuse to have it. That just because I don't want to feel of pains. I don't know why I have never fallen for someone for almost a year. Since I broke up with my ex, I have never fallen in love again. 
           I used to have three ex-boyfriends , they all turn to be gays. And every time I think of it, I am happy. I never angry with them, that is so funny. The last two ex-boyfriends, they are guys. But unfortunately, they are all far away. I always fight for my love, but the boys never think of keeping the relationship. I broke up many times, and I tired of it. The other reasons maybe because of I still not to sleep with anybody, virginity is my adorable. I don't want myself to be dirted of lots of boys, which are unreliable. None of my ex-boyfriends ever thought of that. I learned the lessons from many of my friends who were expecting. I also learned the lessons from friends who really loved their lovers, but at last they broke up. The tear , I don't want it. I love my friends and my family, and this is my life. 
          Sometimes I am lonely, but it is better than I lose my half soul because of breaking up with somebody. Like I did in the past.

Apr. 8th, 2009

Looking back to my first year of university (part one)

               I am an English teacher and even I always think I know not much English. I am not a native, but I do like English. Actually, studying in the university for five years made me feel of confidence about my job. First years of my university was crazy, I learned many situations by that time. Friends were good sometimes, Thai students always stick in a group of friends even they are the university students then sometimes I think that is annoying. I am individual, but that isn’t mean I retreat from the social. 
               Every body cared about how to impress the others, they confused about who they loved “themselves or friends”. The stressful covered their thoughts in case of hurting their feelings by themselves. They didn’t exactly know themselves of what they really wanted.
And so do I, I was a victim of that. I used to be afraid of being hated. I tried to impress every body and did what people wanted me to do. And the result of that was I was unhappy. I disrespected myself. I hated to be me, I was a weak. I was the silly person of a group. By my thoughts, I was so stressful. Some of my friends (which I have grown away from them until now) said that I had nothing better than them. They were happy by looking down on me. So I tried to prove myself that I wasn’t, but that was useless. Those kinds of persons can’t stand when someone is better than them. I spent life for one year to learn. The jerk of allying in a group made me pretend to be a loser. They were happy and I was acceptable for a group. Wo! , That was not nice. 
              Some of my friends were avoided by the group, just because they didn’t join in the group sometimes when they did ally for a chat and gossiping. And that came again the stressful atmosphere. The one who wasn’t there was the one who was the topic for gossiping. The head of our group was her! who I will write about in the next page of my journal. 


Starting life off the university.

At my workplace.
Here is something to think about when I have to move into the place where is I am never used to.
1. How do I know that place is safe enough?
2. How much I can trust the security guard?
3. How much I can trust my new friends?
4. What am I supposed to be in some situations which are uncomfortable, which side I should stand, a winner (evil) or a loser(angel)?
5.How can I stay in a peaceful area of mine?
Those are my concerning which makes me unhappy. I try to deny thinking of it because it hasn't happened, yet.

Staying at home,I have to teach the little kids. Poor them, they don't even know how to write the first alphabet of both Thai and English. They have the short tempered, so that is difficult to make them stay for studying. I can't force them to study or to learn because they are too small to stay under pressure. Staying claim is the best way to deal with them. Awww... I am accustomed to the teenage students , I am not accustomed to the little kids. I can't refuse my life by not doing this job, I like teaching and I am a teacher. I have to adapt myself to many situations, the real teacher coves everything. A real teacher will never give up.